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Jake (Real)

This article focuses on mom's but as a parent I'm just stumped at the idea that you have a choice about spending time with your kid, and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. www.thecut.com/article/how-...

How Much Time Do You Really Need With Your Kids?Some moms are done apologizing for having to go to work.www.thecut.com
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I dug coal with Baby Billy

I don't understand some of these people. If you don't want to be a parent, just...don't be a parent? Seems like maybe something they should have thought of before they had kids!

Обсуждение

2 прямых ответов · 11 сообщений

Jake (Real)

Charitably, some parts of it (positive and negative) you can't really appreciate until you experience it.

Ответ для Jake (Real)
I dug coal with Baby Billy

Yeah that's fair, but like the woman who didn't want to potty train...why bother having kids? I get not everyone wants to go to soccer games or shitty plays, but on some level you're shaping how your kid sees and interacts with the world.

xie, that guy from 2007

There are absolutely parts of this I agree with completely. The fact that my weekends are basically 28-30 hours of direct parenting has worn me down extremely. I'm on year 5 of often feeling like I no longer exist while having to pretend it's the greatest privilege of my life.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
Jake (Real)

Yep. And a lot of it is great! But there are zero days off. Weekends stop being relaxing. It's a major change you can't appreciate until you do it.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
I dug coal with Baby Billy

yeah like I have no issue with that, I absolutely can see that. I don't have kids and I'm tired just working all week then on the weekends doing shit around the house so that part I am cool with but the people who seem like they'd rather work more than hang with their kids seems weird.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
Badfinger

It's 1000% a framing issue. Many people do not have the privilege of feeling guilty about leaving their children somewhere they aren't. Almost everyone does not have the CHOICE to only parent 3 hours a day. Conversely, "It takes a village" isn't just an idiom. It's a thing people used to do.

Ответ для Badfinger
xie, that guy from 2007

Yes, probably the best weekend of our recent lives was going camping with another family we've known forever with 2 kids. 1 adult could easily supervise the 3 kids and there were actually moments to have a grown up thought, or interact with another adult for more than a few seconds.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
xie, that guy from 2007

My kid is also particularly exhausting, which is just a dice roll. We have had babysitters not come back (he's not Calvin, he's just A LOT) & most grandparent type figures tap out after a few hours.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
Jake (Real)

We're fortunate in that our kid is pretty easy! But we don't have family who can babysit nearby. So barring the odd play date, we're in Parent Mode from 7 AM to 8:30 PM on weekends.

Ответ для xie, that guy from 2007
Badfinger

The irony is that my kids are a lot FOR US but they would be fine if we could ever get other help. It's not even a once-a-month deal do to (life). My wife is DEFINITELY the breadwinner, but because she WFH she's still the chaperone mostly. Guilt! Guilt for not being as progressive a dad as I want!

Ответ для Badfinger
I dug coal with Baby Billy

Yeah I spent a ton of time with my grandmother, aunts and uncles and cousins growing up. Part of that was my mom had some pretty serious postpartum depression, but my parents both also worked, and "daycare" didn't really exist. Without some folks to lighten that load I don't know how people do it