I not only think this is correct, I think it almost has to be this way. We *have* to learn to at least know what is acceptable to the larger culture, if only so we can reject it properly. But then we also need to know how to figure ourselves out, and that takes so much more time and mistakes.
Mobile Slut GundamIt's all a process of deconstructing what we picked up along the way, and settling into what actually feels comfortable. You don't have to become a leather daddy. I think older folks seem more at ease exploring the kink community because it takes time to understand yourself and what you like.