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I'm making LEMON CAKE! With a SWEET CHERRY COMPOTE!

quel ennui!

how we vaped in 2003 *puts elmer's glue nozzle in mouth and inhales*

(acting in American Psycho but I forgot my lines) wow... business card.... a perfect rectangle... white, with words on it... All the key information is on here Jared Leto: (also forgot his lines) Plus it has Dope Handfeel as well

this is why they needed to invent the printing press in england, because of all these signs

at the Globe they would have someone standing up at the edge of the stage holding up a sign that says "POLONIUS IS THE SPY-MASTER" to help the audience along

to be clear he is also a crazy old man but learning he is the spy-master early on really helps clarify questions the audience might have, such as "why is this guy here and why does anyone listen to him ever?"

[standing up in the theater when a Hamlet production cuts the lines between Reynaldo and Polonius] oh so we just don't know Polonius is the spy-master now? we just don't get that established, because who cares about MOTIVE? i can now assume Polonius is a crazy old man who just hangs around here? ok.

if you pay me i will review any shakespeare film you like and i will be catty as hell about it. i love finding the one line they cut or one word whose emendation they fumbled that changes the entirety of a character, their present scene, and thus the play as a whole

a haggard child squints into the sun unmoving. one of these days.

oh hey. *looks up at you from a caterpillar wearing a little fedora and trench coat* This is Girlybug Cutiepie, Insect Detective. She was just asking me a few questions, but she'll be on her way now. *looks back down at caterpillar* isn't that right, Detective Cutiepie? *gestures to security detail*

it's called the odyssey because that guy sees a lot of odd shit

this one was so brave

for instance, i've been ruminating on it, and i think the movie is basically trying to say something about the commercialization of Christmas

stop arguing about the odyssey and go back to arguing about one battle after another, i feel like we were so close to figuring that one out

my content is petty and insubstantial, perfect for the working scroller such as yourself

If you head to Reno, folks'll tell you to watch out for the man who shoots people just to watch them die. Overlooks the fact he got arrested. Which does NOT mean Reno is all sunshine and roses! His act soiled the place; it clouds the air. All who dwell there want to watch something die now… but what

what's exceptionally funny about this to me is that there are windows of time where they might have made this one themselves

The Cryptkeeper has come to Tubi. All seven seasons of HBO's classic horror anthology series TALES FROM THE CRYPT are now streaming for free on Tubi!