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Look bribery is not my primary parenting tool but it's in the box and it's by far the best one for nail trimming (although sometimes we watch Bear in the Big Blue House)

You don't have to get a pedicure, Dan, but you do have to sit still and watch this episode of Bluey while mom trims your toenails so you quit scratching your sister

Look at you and your paper trail, rookie

She stayed asleep, it's fine

Yeah this is absolutely a multimodal distribution that it would be meaningful to decompose

If it makes you feel better I just chortled and startled the 6 week old asleep on my chest

Took me six weeks to realize that I can just keep headphones by the chair where I nurse in the middle of the night and then I can listen to a podcast or do a guided meditation or whatever 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not exactly the personnel announcement I was hoping for but a very good one!

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who are afraid of helicopters and people who are bad at risk assessment

Wait we just started this and I saw the caption style for the first time, weird

On the other hand: newborn

My life is currently an endless loop of me offering two mutually exclusive options, asking someone to let me know which works/is their preference, and getting told "yes"

My dad is anxiously awaiting my kids being old enough for golf camps or lessons but it's because he's golfed for decades and loves it (and went 1/3 with his own kids)

I really don't mess with thc but I sort of want this for narrative reasons

It is not the responsibility of small children to build relationships! But they really want to, so make it super easy for them by elevating (or inventing,tbh) common interests

Husband just asked where last year's backup keeper was and if we could get her back. I let him know that she's at the stadium and listed as available, BUT!

Wait were you there today? We were there around 11

🎵 baby come back 🎵

You're going to have to be more specific, that's a surprisingly rich genre