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Britain’s favourite spice is mayonnaise

there are occasions when an artist captures their subject so perfectly, all you can do is marvel at their ability

Does anyone know what sort of bumwad billionaires use? Is it triple-ply silk or veal calf skin, it’s certainly not the bargain single-ply down Londis is it

few worse horrors in film than the fate of the toys in Toy Story - an eternity of fighting against obsolescence, all the while knowing they’ll be rejected by everyone they ever love

let’s just skip to the inevitable end where the poison-laced squash is handed out to fanatical loyalists in a rural compound www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Reform councillors told to call donations inquiry ‘establishment stitch-up’Party briefing notes say: ‘Daily routine of hit jobs and smears will not deter us from winning next general election’www.theguardian.com

Elon Musk, the racist white supremacist who backs white supremacist conspiracy theories & racists, says he’s not racist

Friday

if only A Christmas Carol had thought to have, say, flashbacks to his childhood and events that shaped him or even - stick with me - a ghost of his former business partner advising him to renounce the avarice which has defined him

if Andy Burnham’s sole achievement is to bring about the demise of vox pops, then his time as PM will be a huge success

mad that Odysseus studied to be a doctor after all that travel and then wrote The Cat in the Hat

Mrs Odysseus: … so you’ve been shipwrecked for ten years, alone, and definitely not been living with a sex witch or a princess or mucking about? Odysseus: absolutely not Mrs Odysseus: and all your crew, who could back your story up, are all Odysseus: dead, yes, strange coincidence

‘I’m going to make a historically accurate version of a myth’ is the funniest thing he’s ever said and he didn’t mean to be funny, the tragedy continues

can’t believe Christopher Nolan wants people to think about film more than TV he changed Telemachus’s name to Cinemachus

Odysseus thinks he took a long time to get home but he never had to contend with a rail replacement bus, then he’d know

bad news if you’re a man and have eyelashes, it means you’re a communist or a threat to national security or something, you’d have to ask the daily mail exactly why it’s bad

over on U&GOLD at 11pm there’s Colin’s Sandwich which I haven’t seen in yonker’s donkeys

he’s not sent them to the fucking gulags, has he Glen

Andy Burnham has arrived at Number 10 and has shoved Larry the Cat into a whippet costume

‘not the warmest of receptions’ says Gabby Logan of Infantino and Trump walking onto the pitch and boos ringing out

no Micah Richards, Yamal wasn’t the best midfielder at this tournament, have you heard of Jude ‘seven goals’ Bellingham