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One of the best Simpsons bits was doing Cheers and giving everyone lines except Kelsey Grammar, the guy who is on the show three times a year, who is silently trying to stop Norm’s rampage

WIFE: (MFA from RISD) I thought a lot of her points were astute, even if her obvious bias for classics made a poor replacement for film criticism specifically, you know? ME: (just found out only yesterday that flies aren't food) I don't feel good. I can still feel some of them moving inside of me.

If I won the lottery I would hire an interior designer and just say “Columbo murderer” while waving my hand around my home office.

when she wasn't busy being a drug dealing landlord in quebec she lived on the land and water. mostly the land.

Aaaand there‘s the bailout www.reuters.com/business/med...

Dr fauci, you are accused of the highest crime in our land: asking conservatives to go to applebees slightly less frequently for two weeks. How do you plead

the spirit is willing, etc etc

this is a boomer style post minus the minion, but i am angry no adult was ever honest with us when we were growing up that 80% of being adult is quietly hating how exhausting everything is

especially appreciated the part where Fudge was on the bicycle during the commercial shoot and refused to ride it for the cameraman, and when the company owner told the dad to 'do something', my daughter deadpanned, "fudge, i've got a gun". 10/10 the kids still got it.

an obligation is a sort of parasite

The rules are open to interpretation #birdworld

i love them so much because they look so scary but they just wanna be friends and take turns bowing with you

Answering this while plugging the messaging app, Roost, where you send messages by different types of bird messengers that you collect. The messages arrive in the real time it would take the bird to fly to it's recipient. I'm going for my local favorite, a black billed Magpie.

Choose your bird #birdworld

reading your posts

The Vibes appear to be souring

Just a head’s up to everyone who hasn’t reassessed their relationship with Shopify yet: its CEO is actively pushing far-right politics in Canada, now with Elon Musk’s explicit support!

Voters, or just you, a random child on the internet

Gave a gray alien a Faygo Moon Mist and it fucking died

especially appreciated the part where Fudge was on the bicycle during the commercial shoot and refused to ride it for the cameraman, and when the company owner told the dad to 'do something', my daughter deadpanned, "fudge, i've got a gun". 10/10 the kids still got it.