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Funny how it works, right; for example, I see Arcadia post the exact same quotes you did (after you removed them), and then I stupidly think that that's somehow connected. Great tool for gaslighters, also, apophenia; making you think you are just seeing things; making you doubt yourself constantly.

🙃

"Soulmate", "Love of my life", "I love you so much", "No one knows me like you do", "You'll have my love always", "I haven't had this connection before with anyone"; why would you say these words to someone, not once but over and over, if you don't mean them? Why would you do that to someone?

Why did I let you do this to me, even when you kept denying the obvious? I think because otherwise I would have had to face that you didn't just move on, but that it never meant anything to you from the start. And yes, it's clear now that it was never more than a game to you.

I knew already then (and long before), when you suddenly came back. I hoped you would just admit it, and the fact that you still angrily denied it should have been the end of it. But I kept the line open, and after half a year, I gave in. Because somehow I still trusted and loved you.

Yes-and to deliberately hurt and deceive someone after gaining their trust, telling them repeatedly that they are your soulmate, that you love them very much, that no one knows you like they do, meanwhile lying to their face and slowly trapping them to then humiliate them, is just vile beyond words.

I deeply loved this woman. Incredibly, I still do. But from what she has said and done lately, it's clear that it never meant anything to her, that she has just been playing with me all along. (Then again, if that (and him) is how low she'll go, it's very much for the best that it's over now).

Yes-and to deliberately hurt and deceive someone after gaining their trust, telling them repeatedly that they are your soulmate, that you love them very much, that no one knows you like they do, meanwhile lying to their face and slowly trapping them to then humiliate them, is just vile beyond words.

I deeply loved someone who closely read Nabokov's letters to Vera (funnily enough I found today that she seems to be one of the beautiful, smiling, empty shells you mentioned earlier). I believed that her heart wrote with fire, with light, like mine, but it turns out that she wrote with thin air.

away; take care, all

And bending down beside the glowing bars, Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled And paced upon the mountains overhead And hid his face amid a crowd of stars. -W.B. Yeats

'But I am not deluded. After all these callings hither and thither, I shall fall alone through this thin sheet into gulfs of fire. And you will not help me. More cruel than the old torturers, you will let me fall, and will tear me to pieces when I am fallen.' -Virginia Woolf, The Waves

Enough is the quietest revolution I’ve ever started.

Not everything; no, not everything 🥀

Pour qu’elle soit comme une pluie Miraculeuse sans nuage Comme une pluie entre deux feux Comme une larme entre deux rires Pour qu’elle soit neige bénie Sous l’aile tiède d’un oiseau ~Paul Éluard Poésie ininterrompue

not lost, still here, you said

'I know what loves are trembling into fire; (...) love makes knots; love brutally tears them apart. I have been knotted; I have been torn apart.' -Virginia Woolf, The Waves

'She silenced again looking inside herself. She remembered: I am the light wave that has no other field but the sea, I thrash about, slide, fly, laughing, giving, sleeping, but woe is me, always in me, always in me.' Clarice Lispector, Near to the Wild Heart

Thank you

fleurs de l'ombre