Профиль

I accidentally ate my fortune cookie with the fortune still in it. Is that good?

GM everyone in my house is still asleep so time to do the dad thing: cook breakfast in total silence

Diarrhea Lettuce would be an awesome band name

wtf it’s August this weekend?

“Battling demons” - self improvement or playing Diablo?

What’s my dream job? Frantically playing a song about storms on an accordion in a windmill.

My wife, being served a delicious plate of molten hot magma: this is cold

GM ☀️ my cars dashboard got changed to kmph and I thought I was racing to work this morning

Riding my bike through the woods at night is spooky. I fully expect Shere Khan to jump out and eat me.

GM ☀️ dropping my daughter off at camp this summer has given us time to study her 00’s emo band knowledge together

My kid, walking into my room: I can’t sleep Me, a problem solver: probably because you’re standing up in my room

Guy in my BlueSky DMs: Hey I got one of those big checks with your name on it I just need your name. And SSN.

Maybe one more coffee will fix me