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Why are all these billionaires wasting their time crashing shite in to the moon? I’d be taking over Leicester comedy festival with all my money.

Finally seeing a comedy about spies after last years always forgetting to book it fiasco.

Jeremy Vine is an obnoxious cunt. That is all.

Everytime I see The Punisher I imagine that we could have @joznorris.bsky.social as John Bernthal as Mr. Mistoffelees in a different cinematic universe.

I have listened to all of wooden overcoats for the first time and what an absolutely hilarious & beautiful podcast it was. I need more. They need to do more.

Hey @itsmattrose.bsky.social thought you might enjoy the title to one of John-Luke Roberts stand-up shows; ALL I WANNA DO IS [FX: GUNSHOTS] WITH A [FX: GUN RELOADING] AND A [FX: CASH REGISTER] AND PERFORM SOME COMEDY! It’s mainly about the spice girls (all of them). That is all.

Come see this unless you have poor taste and don’t like having a nice time!

Reminder that any pals still thinking about attending that you’re welcome to come stay with us as long as you don’t mind sleeping anywhere you can fit. No dickheads.

Two weeks until I’m in Edinburgh in a flat with my fellow lovely neurodivergents who don’t drive me insane with their very existence. I think I might need this.

Is it legal to have someone euthanised because they’re unaware of ALL THE FUCKING NOISE THEY MAKE ALL THE TIME? I am perfectly fine.

Ok I’m finally struggling with the heat so it’s officially too hot. Someone get it added to the records please.

Big update @zafarcakes.bsky.social www.lbc.co.uk/article/char...

Charles Bronson sparks prison stand-off over 'canteen apple crumble' | LBCThe prisoner is said to have staged a protest after not being given custard with his prison dessert.www.lbc.co.uk

Can everybody tell one person that there’s a 4 week exemption on hosepipe bans for new planting (yes including lawns) and get them to tell one person so people stop fucking bothering me every ten fucking seconds. Thank you 💙

Urgh people.

Petition for it to be illegal to have fires in built up areas. I’d like to be able to be in my own home without it stinking of smoke every night please.

I am somehow all these characters at once. Official diagnosis definitely not needed.

Just paid the whopping £66 tourist tax for Edinburgh and am now bankrupt. How could the do such a thing!

I have just experienced just experienced a Mae Martin jump scare in the show I’m watching. A great jump scare.

Is it just me or is everywhere being on fire a bad sign?

Rob Cross vs Gerwyn Price - is it possible they can both go out please?