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Google Auto pestered me for a net promoter score How was your Gemini experience today? 👍🏽👎🏽 There wasn't an option marked "I'm fucking driving you fucking brainless fuckwit".

Drunk drag king name: Ethan Knoll

Margaret Thatcher did all her own ironing.

Fogged up bathroom mirror? It could mean you are entitled to condensation.

For years, nudges, winks, and jokes surrounded celebrities who later turned out to be predators. So the next time I am inclined to make a joke about how young Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriends appear to be, I might hold my tongue instead.

If you drop a figurine of a clown fish with a little fin and it lands backwards... That's an omen.

Give me 4 versions of you. I give you: Getting ready for Full Fetish 2026 Most recent gym selfie Promo drag shot circa 2013 Photo I used for my Carte d'Orange on a trip to Paris circa 1994

I forgot to mention last week that when queuing in Soho Theatre to see Jonny Woo last Wednesday, I spotted Mel Giedroyc, struck up a pleasant conversation, and ended up showing her a card trick. She was very gracious about it all.

I really want to be home. My train journey was already 5.5 hours. Now it's delayed by more than an hour. Argh.

"Just rubbish, the things you don't want," they said. To show their intent, they took the plastic nightmare of the South Pacific Gyre into the shiny maw of their hovering ship. The world said yes. Next day, the visitors were gone. So were the old, the sick, the homeless. We live with that guilt.

The news of Bill Oddie's death is sad, but for TV companies, also tinged with relief because he didn't use his position and celebrity to be a sexual predator in the 70s. He was one of the goodies.

I hate having to use Microsoft Edge. The default homepage allows MSN to vomit clickbait all over my screen.

I discovered a wormhole! It's quite easy if you have access to some good soil, a spade, and a magnifying glass.

They told me for my presentation to use a template. But I work nine to five, and if I'm going to present it, first I want to review the output from the temp.

Gays. What are we like? Give us an inch and we'll take a ... long time before accepting another seven or eight inches will not be forthcoming.

I'm looking forward to Christopher Nolan's next project, The Evenssey.