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concerts should be at most 25 minutes long. like 7 songs. actually why am I even there to begin with. you know what, never mind do whatever you want

my latest for LinkedIn: Most people search job boards for job. That’s a huge mistake. Retention is a winning problem. The moment I stopped telling people my resume, I won. Not just because I had growth. Because I had mindset. No more pipeline. No more applying. Stop working. Start working.

there’s one merger I won’t be pausing (don’t know whether I said that out loud or to myself; not even sure my eyes are open)

“no one ever talks about how..” I’m gonna stop you right there. everyone is always talking about how. and it needs to end

nice try, my eating disorder, but you’re no match for my other more powerful personality disorders that force me to wash produce so aggressively

adobe is a suite of robust tools designed kill you and then change your email password. after that initial trial period it’s 59.99 per month

should be fine if you just microwave the salad

the verve AND the verve pipe? savage garden soundgarden? collective soul, soul asylum??? soul coughing???? Soul COUGHING??????

second time in 2026 I heard someone say “sexy time(s).” I really gotta head out of here

“unclench your jaw” no. don’t tell me what i can and cannot clench. furthermore, stop silencing me

the bagel bites song is the same as the Michigan J Frog song. it’s good to keep that in mind

nobody has any money except for the people who like really really do

it’s the 250th anniversary of Jaws

oh your work lives at an intersection of several abstract concepts? sounds great I’ll meet you there you fucking bitch

walking down the street just now a guy on a motorcycle at a red light sneezed and another person on the sidewalk said “bless you bro” and the motorcycle guy said “thank you my man” and the sidewalk person said “no problem dude”

have you ever bravely failed to back up 7 years worth of work portfolio files on a second hard drive and then the original drive crashes and you have to take it to one of those data recovery places and maybe it won’t work but it will cost you a lot of money regardless? or are you a meek coward

we can’t have classic Hollywood starlets anymore. because of tech neck

(hopeful) maybe I’ll die!!

computer and i have ended things amicably.

computer and I have been going through some difficulties at home.