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Givin' our lord and savior a nice rub down, just like every President has ever done. Don't believe me? Ask Grok... after a brief bit of reprogramming, of course...

Klarna?? KLARNA?????

Fidget Cube Nuke BombAlt: A white guy with a goatee and glasses flips a switch on a fidget toy, and then the scene switches to a nuclear explosion mushroom cloudstatic.klipy.com

It's becoming a red flag to me that people will purport to "broaden my mind" or whatever

Here's an ad from the backside of a brochure I got from Maryland Public Television today.

OK, I was about to call out the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra and/or Maryland Public Television, but it seems like they just have a tangential relationship to the "Baltimore Speakers Series," funded by Stevenson University.

Yeah OK, that sounds roughly like I remember. So, basically, "Trump, but if the world were even dumber and supported someone with even less pre-Dementia charisma"

Well in my defense, I'm a huge prick with an ego the size of a planet

Also it turns out that the Civil War was about not owning people as property and it was probably good to burn those shitheads to the ground and we didn't salt the earth deep enough cause here we are again around 150 years later???

Also, @fakegreatdane.bsky.social, I'll save you the trouble of copy-pasting your own response: "G was a terrible person allowed the privilege to hold immense powers over the lives of others." Yeah actually that's the only part you need.

Oh I'm celebrating, and everyone else should be too, unless they're soulless cretins who actively want demons to destroy the world and everything good in it

🖐️

I'd just rather people be honest about me when I croak than lie. I'm not listening at that point either way, why bother pretending to be nice

I had a nice overnight bus ride to Philly one time early in college and I was complaining to my friend next to me about my boy troubles at the time until someone in the back of the bus loudly told me to shut the hell up. That's a good one, a freebie, the center of my proverbial Bingo square.

[this is actually true btw but it just means I got bumped up to first class on the train to Hell]

[obligatory BlueSky reply-person voice] my grandfather's sister died as a child of diarrhea in the early 1900s you son of a bitch, how dare you make jokes about diarrhea

Mmmm nope, my worst-ever work colleague wreaked nowhere near the level of damage during our entire time together that Lindsey Graham did on the nicest of the days he was avoiding Hell by continuing to be alive

The Police - Every Breath You Take

Fucking Christ shut up