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I offered a black and white cookie to the 5:40 PM conductor cuz he’s my homie, and when I took it out of the bag to show him he was like “Oh! That’s like the cookie from Seinfeld!” I almost fainted 

today is my grandparents’ 63rd wedding anniversary… bro… 🥹

loling so hard at this guy using the aglet of his shoelace to pack his joint on the train fhehdhehfjfj

It should be illegal for bus stations in Los Angeles not to have a shelter lol

my quest to find a black-and-white cookie in Los Angeles that satisfies my Long Island Girl heart continues. There is a place up in the Valley that makes really good ones that are close to home but they are small and cost a lot for the size.

I was just in line at the post office and this old Australian guy said that I look pretty in my pink top, and then he leaned in closet and said “You know, in Australia, if you wear pink, they think you’re gay” and I was like Oh, ok

I have a slightly sore throat. It’s rabies

Emotional yips

Listening to LCD Soundsystem on the train, one of the best places to do it

Trying to ignore my feelings right now

Did Phish win tonight?

This is just Larry David

and the line is growing longer now (the line to the bathroom) (i tried)

SpongeBob Big Guy Pants OK

Making a sandwich vs. putting all of the stuff back

My generic Vyvanse has kicked in and I want to go home and browse the Internet while being horizontal

There’s a kid on this train of probably 10 years of age and he’s glued to a screen… A GAMEBOY SCREEN!!!!🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

BDTNL show closer is such a good bit

Bro?