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If I told you that someone upended a bin and spread dust and rubbish all over the carpet in the hunt for used tissues to chew, how high up the suspect list would you place Moose? Circumstantial evidence: his paws conceal a used tissue.

There should be an option to watch finals of Bake Off/Masterchef/Sewing Bee etc without the pointless navel gazing crap. Don't care if they've wanted to do <insert skill here> since their dead nana taught them. Not interested in the walk with wistful voiceover. Sod thanking the cat. Don't. Care.

'Picky bits' might be the most revolting dumbed down term of all time. I can I see when I hear that in adverts is my uni housemate picking bits of hard skin off his feet whilst sitting on the sofa in the evening🤢 Just stop it.

New PM has a sense of humour then🤭

It's been a surprising evening. First the dog sat on a squeaky toy and made us both jump. He could not work out why his arse made that noise. Then the bottle of prosecco I was opening exploded as I removed the wire. Dog ran for cover. I got covered in wine. Still, more exciting than the footie

Can't decide whether to ignore the football by not watching BBC or not watching ITV. Might be fancy and not watch both at the same time.

Happy Gotcha Day, Moose 🥰 7 years and counting 🧡

Don't usually share these things but I'm rather pleased with today's effort 😄 Wordle 1,835 4/6 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Ooh I know this... Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. SO looking forward to the musical🤗 #Six #NotThatOne

If the BBC is putting this under 'culture' I can't help feeling that we are digging our way through the bottom of the barrel in search of the end of days. And it might be a blessed relief when we get there tbh

This feels like a strange way to describe height. In-built maths problem just for fun? Lack of proofreading following AI use? But of course, if it was a duo of a 5ft bit and an 8inch boy they'll be fairly easy to locate.

My new hairdressers handed out mini magnums to all clients this afternoon because 'it's hot today'. Feels like a keeper😂 (And the lady next to me had the biggest G&T I've seen in a long while 🍸)

All hail the overhead fan god! If I'm good, Moose let's me get some of the benefit too #TooHotToSleep

Finished rewatching The West Wing again. Idealistic, clearly, but such a great view of what government should be. Now rewatching The Thick of It and wondering if @aiannucci.bsky.social could actually see the future. Totally brilliant. Fav line: 'Mr Tickel's attention-seeking tent-based twattery' 🤣

Lordi singing Brotherhood of Man might be my favourite part of this entire evening🥰 #eurovision

Thinking the voting may be the most entertaining bit this year. Might switch over to a bit of Midsomer Murders until then. Got to be more interesting than this #eurovision

Getting a bit irritated by the Magic Flute-esque sting before each act. Makes me wish I was at the opera instead of this bland-fest. Not a vintage year so far 😕 #eurovision

France always seems to be entering a completely different competition to everyone else #France #Eurovision

Getting Landscape/Thomas Dolby from the UK entry. Which is a compliment in case you were in any doubt #Eurovision

This is giving definite Traitors vibes #eurovision #Croatia