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In addition to Ape August we are also deep into Leo season, lmk if you need to be gassed up bec it’s my time to do that, Leos love gassing up the homies

Don’t forget to leave out a banana and a glass of beer for the August Ape tonight

Nbd

The neighbor who takes 100 hours to mow his lawn is mowing his lawn while I try to relax by the pool during Bep’s nap, why must i suffer

No more apps, no more feedback surveys, no more talking to ai chat bots, we are all so tired

I wish my kid liked any of his toys as much as he likes his hatch nightlight and baby monitor

Even Chadwick likes Wall-E the Spider-Man

Yesterday at the fair James and I were figuring out what to eat before the concert and we both agreed to get Greek food since you could see it being prepared right in front of you as opposed to whatever the fuck was happening in those little pop up fair food trailers. I got kebab and he got a gyro

Thought of a great username if anyone needs it: Assbones420

Once again I go for a run and come back on here and idk what the hell any of you are talking about

having a kid is great but once they start school you will get so many emails i'm old as hell and the following sentence will confirm that for you but i miss when you got a paper letter in the mail saying what class you were gonna be in and a shopping list of normal items you should bring to school

reading the list of stuff Bep will need for preschool & most of it is pretty normal but the four packets of baby wipes is throwing me "sounds like they're stocking up on free baby wipes" -James

James took Bep to the park for a few this morning & on the drive back the stereo in his car malfunctioned and started blasting static at full volume, scaring the shit out of both of them. Also the car stereo won't turn off. So,

setlist for my fellow AL fans yes i have to capitalize his name now, thanks to the clankers www.setlist.fm/setlist/weir...

This song is 11 years old and truly so ahead of its time that when I heard it at the concert last night I turned to James and said "next time I'm stuck on some corporate speech I have to put in an email I'm going to refer to this song" genius.com/Weird-al-yan...

Before the concert last night I went through the goat barn at the fair and petted a goat that tried to eat my shoelaces