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When famous Writers are asked for advice, they always say: "Write about what you know".

The uncomfortable truth you won't hear about, in The Daily Record. 40,000 Members of the Orange Lodge. 50,000 seats at Ibrox.

Eat Smokies and find a pal who can forage for mushrooms in Scotland, without killing you. Dip your toes in the icy water, off the West Coast of Scotland. Get good at barbecues. Drink Scottish stuff.

Peak Tamla Motown. 1964. Actually written by a couple of blokes but 'Girl Power'. A LONGGGG time before The Spice Girls.

He shares this view with some of history's great Orators. Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Benito Mussolini, Papa Doc Duvalier, Robert Mugabe, great men. Some people just aren't as good! They're rubbish and we need less of them.

I wish someone would start an English Independence Petition. I'd definitely sign it. There's an insidious faction of: ancient, unenlightened, racist poltroonery, that we urgently need to be devolved from.

Is spite of all that's disingenuous stuff that's happened: #Bettertogether, Brexit, Johnson, Truss, Sarwar, Starmer, Scotland STILL isn't Independent. Some Scots ARE this gullible.

It's Murder, being Nigel.

It's so the Team can come out with a statement and ban them from the ground...Only joking, they don't give a fuck.

It worked for Brewdog.

Any Scot who STILL doesn't want Scottish Independence, isn't that good at Critical Thinking.

Either: Sturm Graz are levels above Scottish football or we have got utter mince! We’ll have to wait to Aberdeen to find out. It's the big challenge, for the new Manager. Pick a starting team! No idea. They were all hopeless.

Is you disagree with someone online, call for them to be arrested. Works every time. The Police Force in the UK are good at dealing with subtle nuances like this.

Why a he not got a real ale sponsorship?

Before Viagra, he was called John Flaccidcock.

If I was a hardened Jailbird, I'd find it very difficult), to decide on which one I'd sexually and painfully violate, first? They're both so pretty. It puts a whole new spin on things: Brothers On Arms.

He definitely was the only one who jogged around provincial towns.

When I was a nipper, there were massive, unenlightened knobheads. The National Front allowed these ill-educated nut jobs to meet and flaunt their Hitler tattoos and racism. We've always had these dastardly poltroons. However, access to The Internet means, they now RUN stuff!? Dearie Me!

It was only a few years ago when I first found out, this song is about Sir James Savile!

Tate, not-so-Modern. He'll have to get used to being an 'In-cell'.