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When I get a tray of mini-muffins I get to eat the best looking one, every single time. 😋 #single

what percentage of the writing process is spent just d i s s o c i a t i n g , if you had to guess..?

Today I saw a woman wearing a shirt that read: “I am Charlie Kirk” so I told her what else she is.

With the price of meat, what it is, when ya get it, if ya get it... ? Good, ya got it. It’s man devouring man, my dear; then who are we to deny it in here‽ 🔪🩸🎶

I’ve got you, [insert gender-neutral pet name of choice]. 🫶🏻

“What, are you going to carry a calculator with you where ever you go..?”

candy apples, lullabies, maple trees, & sweet ‘goodbyes’ ; purple flowers, garden gnomes, playground sets, but empty homes.

I gotta return some video tapes.