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Or was he just happy to see the cops?

I’ve enjoyed all 3 or 4 of them that I’ve ever heard, but why would anyone need a trombone concerto?

🙌 Is this the honking boobs emoji?

Me, flirting: Are you having unclean thoughts?

I should add, I'm always down to go up the mountain.

A joke I like to make in Tucson when someone suggests going up the mountain is to point at it and say "What, that mountain? I can see it just fine from here; it's like 4 miles away." I'm sure there are other places where this works, too.

Did you know that Hunter Biden is an artist? I had no idea until just now and I like his work.

Deleted a post I felt icky about re: drug use. Sorry

It would be a shame if catalytic converter thieves started to steal and strip flock cameras of whatever valuable materials are inside.

I can’t stop thinking about this RFK cooking show, and I don’t know what to expect. Will he cook maggots in squirrel fat? Will he bake pretzels with dandruff yeast?

Welcome to my haunted hotel. Dial 6 for... DOOM service! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Downplay a book or movie: Mr. Strangelove (who had no formal education)

Dude has no self awareness. It's like he fell out of a Johari Window.

I hurt my arm falling from an obstacle in a ninja course. It was my first ninjury

I regret my punctuation

RFK Jr (Sitting at a bar, flossing with twine: You’d be surprised how much gristle is in a child

I'm nice and high so I'll be Watchin' the Ted (Ted Lasso) if anyone needs me

My dog just did a big stretch, and I told him big stretch, so we’re doing just fine

Okay, but seriously: Is that something Kash Patel *does* with his eyes or are they just like that?

But seriously, I want to know