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Zero. I bought a bottle of orange juice with some pulp and I’ve just been swigging straight from that.

Sarah has been in Las Vegas since Friday. Since she has been gone I have dirtied up exactly one kitchen utensil and that is a knife that I have used to spread mustard and mayonnaise on my sandwiches. That’s peak efficiency.

The should let Major League Baseball manager smoke cigarettes in the dugout again.

Apologies for the spelling of Sichuan here. I didn’t realize that Szechuan was an outdated spelling before Pinyin became the standard.

I’ve been giving some serious deep thought to ordering a completely irresponsible amount of spicy Szechuan dumplings but I would like everyone to know that I have resisted the temptation in favor of fiscal responsibility.

OH NO.

A funny bit in 2026 would be taking someone out on a date and when the bill comes at the end of dinner whipping out a checkbook and attempting to pay with a check and seeing what kinda hell breaks loose.

Shoutout to Houston drivers though. Never a dull moment out there on the roads.

Confession: I drove Sarah’s 4Runner one time while she was out of town and was almost t-boned by a driver who ran a red light and decided I will never do that again.

I’ve started compiling a list of hills that I am not willing to die on currently but would consider dying on at a future point in time.

This would be a fun phone convo.

Oh they fucking rule. Love live.

Run by Lane 8 and Kasablanca

If I ever get put into the position to be potentially the presidents chief of staff the first thing I’m going to do is Google and learn about “how to cover up/clean diarrhea” just so I can have an edge on the other potential staffers or whatever.

A Moment Apart by Odesza play mine next.

One of my great joys is calling for the dogs to come inside for the night and seeing my almost 14 year old Margarita absolutely SPRINT across the backyard to beat the other dogs inside. She doesn’t look like this anymore, but she’s still that sweet girl in my head.

I could deal with that.

I got really mad at work today and hammer threw a 35lb motor across the warehouse and yelled “why the fuck can’t people just put shit in the containers they’re supposed to be in.” I don’t think I’ve ever expressed a negative emotion like that at work in 15 years. I didn’t like it. I may need to quit

Hence the last part of the sentence.

breaking: your average republican votes against everything they believe in and also their own existence.