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Yeah, but did he also do the splits and jump back up whilst playing guitar?

You’re not wrong. Half a ton of moules marinières and frites are currently working their way through my system. Why do the French eat so late?

I’m white and I refuse to go.

Fire away……

How’d that go for you, Zack?

I had an exhausting Sunday travelling down to the west coast of France. For once I had a good night’s sleep and now I’m sitting outside, eating Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, drinking coffee and watching the world wake up. I hope your day goes well.

Agafuckingdo is pure evil. Nobody deserves that shit.

As opposed to racist Scottish people who hate all English people?

I found him hiding in the car passenger footwell. I think he wants to come.

Sure, what’s your 16 digit card number, expiry date and the last three numbers on the back. I’ll send you the money when I’ve got your details.

We had two mice this morning, laid out perfectly, side by side, on the kitchen mat. Ziggy obviously knows we’re going away.

Total rubbish. There have always been curbs on the right to protest. Causing serious damage to property including military aircraft, assaulting police officers and security guards with sledgehammers and making threats of violence towards others go beyond lawful protest. Hence the proscription.

It is not an offence to support the Palestinian cause, it’s an offence to support the proscribed organisation, Palestine Action.

FIFA forget they don’t exist with UEFA.

Yeah, but Polanski reposted a T Shirt

To use the vernacular, Polanski is making himself look like a complete dick.

Yes, keep the champagne on ice.

Dad’s deteriorating now.

It’s the largest organ in the body.

Precisely what my dad’s currently going through, at roughly the same age your father would’ve been. I know how you feel.