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Diomande? We fucking wish 😂

Are you actually blocked or does it just show as "blocked" to you because he blocked me?

The bullshit from his mouth turned me against him as much, if not moreso, than the actual performances last season. People don't like being gaslit.

"Hear from Eddie Howe after tonight's friendly defeat" I'd sooner do literally anything else. There's a six-foot cactus waiting to be forcefully inserted into my urethra.

I don't feel like defending him. Your team has just lost 4-1 to a Championship team, Eddie. Don't tell your own fans it was a strong performance. Even if you think it was. Say literally anything else.

He didn't have a fucking clue what he was talking about. And I made sure he knew it.

He knows everything about Howe's tactics and intentions. He just won't say what they are. But trust him, they'll work. Because they're the same as last season and last season was great.

Jake Armstrong, Tactical Analyst Extraordinaire. Can't believe you haven't heard of him. In his twatty words, "educate yourself".

I didn't even take issue with him being positive or defending the manager. He made hollow claims about tactics and "intentions" and I simply asked what these were. He replied by saying "Educate yourself" in the most dickish way possible, then linked me to a tactical analysis HE'D written 😂 Clown.

Literally all he has to say is "It's early in pre-season; only our 2nd game. We're not concerned by the result because we're just building up fitness, though obviously we'd like to show more of our real selves. No one likes to lose even at this stage etc" Why say it was a strong performance? #nufc

Excellent, he's blocked me. I was hoping to annoy him to that extent. Pathetic little twat.

Another one for the block list once I get bored. Dickheads in their mum's basement thinking they're expert tactical analysts. Nearly ended up in a relegation battle last season but here's Barnaby Braincells to tell you why it was all actually great.

Eddie fucking Pardew. Not sure how much of it I'll be able to take this season. Getting battered then listening to the manager tell us why it was really good, actually.

I've suddenly remembered why I turned against the manager so completely last season.

But Jake says the tactics were successful and we're sticking with them. And who are we to question such a tactical guru. We must not have watched the right Newcastle United.

Oh, it would be remiss of me not to point out that Jake's idea of "educating yourself" is to read a tactical report that HE WROTE on Nottingham Forest vs Newcastle. What a fucking ego 😂 #nufc

Presumably every team's tactical intention is to score loads of goals and concede none. According to Jake, that's all that matters. Whether the tactics work is entirely irrelevant. What a mind.

You're a tactical genius because you say so. Genuinely hilarious. What utter delusion.

What's the intention of the tactics, Jake? Just using the same words in a different order 😂 Floundering. You've no idea what you're on about.