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This picture sounds like a Three Days Grace song.

Homer would’ve named Neo “Matrixeus”.

So the motion picture industry, which is having its worst financial period in decades if not of all time, is basically giving away money all in the interest of pushing a woke narrative centered around a combined 8 minutes of screentime for the black actress and the trans actor? Do I have that right?

Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville and this is the World Cup!

I’m old enough to remember a time where if you were the type of kid who went around whining about things like the movie adaptation of a Greek myth straying too far from the source material, you were regularly shoved into lockers and set up on fake dates with the popular girls.

Lindsey Graham dies out of nowhere. Conor McGregor loses and blows out his own knee. Just a beautiful night if you’re not complete dogshit right down to your marrow.

Lotta folks say that Graham Platner’s first red flag was the Nazi tattoo, and that’s perfectly valid, but for me it was the mustache. You don’t walk around looking like the lead guy in Eagles of Death Metal without harboring some dark-ass secrets.

The message on the banner: “WHEN THE POWER OF LOVE BEATS THE LOVE OF POWER THE WORLD KNOWS PEACE.” The Epstein class’ favorite news magnate: “Laaame.”

You wait around long enough and Trump will inadvertently admit to sucking at every single thing he does.

Now more than ever it’s FUCK JIM DOLAN. Sell the team, sell MSG. Take your money and get the fuck out of this business and this city, you joyless old anus.

My mayor Muslim My bagel’s Jewish My president’s barely alive Knicks in five.

So AAA is just NXT for white dudes that have been around too long and can’t get over but have job security because, again, white.

MAGA when a trans woman wants to be involved in sports: “MEN SHOULDN’T COMPETE AGAINST LADIES!!! THOSE SICKOS ARE CHEATING!!!!!!!” MAGA when they see this: “lmao I wish he was raping her too.”

Credit where it’s due, it’s extraordinary that any one of these D-listers would turn down a gig in the year of Blue Dot Fever. Bret Michaels would play the basement of the last remaining adult book store if you just let him raid the discount bin.

Funnily enough, some version of a sweaty, half-believed “We believe in equality and music” appears in the statement of every artist that’s pulled out.

At this point they should just call it The Great American State Fyre Fest.

Everyone knows God has a dick and he only fucks women. HOT women.

The Boys series finale spoiler without context:

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Dear god. This is like 9/11 for people who like good music and adults.