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wait strike that, it's the cross necklace

thought that was the goatee's job

Strange shit happens in Baltimore.

you're forgetting "and welcome to the JAM" style

I swear to god the way this comic whiplashes me between "Noel deserves the worst" and "SAVE YOURSELF YOU POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL" is gonna make me rethink chiropractors

yeah it seemed ridiculous even by his standards

well obviously, but like, why? what's the rest of the context for when and why he posted this?

Like how he vibes to Coldplay but only as a personal treat when alone in his apartment.

ok what's the story behind this one

There it is, the most cursed sentence ever written.

Ok but are they distancing themselves from the board member himself?

yes but think about the album we're gonna get out of that breakup. that douchebag will be *destroyed*.

sorry I know you're just doing your job but I gotta object to the use of the word "talent" here.

I'm struggling to comprehend the idea of Alex Jones having parents. I just imagine he was, I dunno, grown in a lab from one of Rush Limbaugh's moles? Or ripped out of a mud-womb like the Uruk-hai in The Two Towers.

As with fast food, the quality- and quantity-to-cost ratios have starkly declined over the past 15-20 years. I frequently wonder if it was always this bad and I was just naive before.

At this point I'm assuming that any organized entity with the power and jurisdiction to destroy this man doesn't actually want to. The Onion is trying harder than anyone else, and godspeed to 'em.

I lust, therefore she is.

Mark Carney just allowed war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu to fly through Canada despite a warrant for his arrest and the country being a signatory to the Rome Statute. We have aided and embedded one of history's greatest monsters

no but seriously this is a bait tactic: she's intentionally manufactured a scenario that is all but guaranteed to invite backlash, which she intends to use as a means to claim "see how Christians are being oppressed!!"

plot twist: it's the fish waiter whose cool-headed wisdom just saved Noel another trip to the hospital.