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i could make coffee out of my own piss and it would be better than starbucks.

If Gerard Way was a landfill he would be Gerard Waste

The only time Epic Games and Nintendo will ever collab

jazz jackrabbitALT: jazz jackrabbitstatic.klipy.com

All I’m saying is if Qui-Gon would’ve just taken the boy’s mom with him and Anakin, Vader would never have existed Separating the boy from his mother is what caused that fear which lead anger which lead to hate yada yada yada The jedi literally caused their own extinction and Qui-Gon knew it all

You either die Mac Tonight, or you live long enough to see yourself become Moonman.

Applesauce is just an apple smoothie in a jar.

Matcha looks like guacamole in a cup.

do you think wildlife have their own version of social media where they make videos and talk to other animals from across the world like we do but when they’re out in public in front of humans they act like none of thet exists so we never catch on to it just a random thought

“jOkEs aBoUt pEoPle’s deAtH aReN’t fuNnY” and then bro goes ahead and laughs at some comedian making a 9/11 joke

Everything that needs to be said was said in Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

my talent is identifying Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Nothing makes me realize faster that I'm actually a positive and hopeful person faster than reading other people's reaction to a Nintendo Direct

Hey I'm just saying if something like Godzilla Destroy All Monsters Melee can get a remaster then anything is possible.

importing my most popular tweet to this platform (ft. @hard-pretzel.bsky.social)

Best games of 1998 (opinion)

Virtual Boy Works? Yeah, I sure hope it does

Dune Messiah is gonna be an instant classic if they include the part of the book where Paul is telling Stilgar about Hitler and proceeds to go, “That fuckin guy? Pussy. Child’s birthday party compared to the shit I’m doing”

“Bluesky is filled with pedos” brother in christ, the owner of the platform you’re saying that on was heavily involved with a pedophile, BUT NOT JUST ANY PEDOPHILE, Earth’s Top Most Wanted Pedophile

Stephen King has a son named Joe King. I’m not joking, but he is.