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this would be even more painful to me than losing the "I don't trust any doctors below the neck" schtick to the anti-vaxxers

Oh god, now I'm imagining a world with a gritty Prufrock adaptation that results in loser men missing the point and idolizing the main character

what fool called it the factory where they make Blåhajs and not the Shark Cutery

kids, i have something exciting to tell you. I just financed a cybertruck through x the everything app. also your mom left

Whenever I encounter the word charcuterie, either written or spoken, I am seized with the overwhelming urge to say, "Ah, yes. Shark coochie." Needless to say I exercised a great deal of willpower last weekend in Napa

cannot stop thinking about this spongebob storyboard panel

salads should be at least 1:1 leaves to Other Stuff, the leaves with garnish blasphemy is a relic of diet culture and we must reject it

You can tell this account is mainly British. Season your food

Honestly, give me the drugs and the fashion and you can keep the rest.

and then Andrew Tate closed replies 😂

I read this poem in the psych hospital and it immediately knocked me out.

Mormon missionaries.

Shark Week is here everybody, post a Shark 🦈

What did I do in episode 4?

Fahrenheit is basically what percent hot it is. 100 and over is like, I'm done, no reason to be outside, that's all the hot there is. Your nice room temperature is more like 70% hot. And so on

I'm in beautiful Calistoga near Napa Valley and the wine I don't have to pay for is flowingggg

somewhere in the void (well-lit), there is a phone that only calls the dead. it is cursed. it is not looking for you. it has already found you. jerry, NO

Unpaid advertisement for @mayakern.com skirts: I transported all the battery-operated candles in this AirBnB to the outdoor dining table just within my skirt pockets. It was this many plus my phone and I probably could have added 50% more

Liberating queer kids from their unaccepting families has always been central to my YIMBY advocacy. It’s why I am so angry that San Francisco has refused to meaningfully grow its housing stock since the seventies.