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(She said it fixed her first, just for the record)

“You don’t need therapy, you just needed to get waterboarded” is a real sentence I’ve now said out loud to another human being. What the fuck has my life become lmao

Waterboarding 🥰

Getting way too excited shopping for staplers

the wedding ring stays ON during sex Hers, I mean. Not mine.

Also steel toe vs composite toe (most of the time, at least)

I can do this with getting kicked btw 😇

Need to commandeer someone else’s copy ig

Downside of having warhound on ebook is you can’t take the obligatory pic with it 😔

If I ever had a stupid amount of money, I think I’d buy a pair of boots I never wear outside so I could have people lick the bottoms of them. That might fix me

Whatever People Say I Am is my personal fav of theirs but Humbug is a close second. Dangerous Animals ♥️

AM is male manipulator music, Humbug is female manipulator music

I like how Arctic Monkeys manage to be male manipulator music and female manipulator music simultaneously

Yeah then it gets windy and long hair becomes annoying for an entirely different reason

Even when it’s not hot out, it’s just so annoying! So much fucking work! I hate it!

Gonna start cutting my hair short as soon as I think I have any chance of still passing that way tbh. I hate hate hate having long hair in the summer

she/her? No, you misunderstood. I said my pronouns are she/Sir

This would go so crazy tho

Had a moment of sadness like damn the last time I felt happy was [thing from a year ago] but then I was like… wait. That’s not true. I beat someone with a cane last week and it rocked. Life is beautiful actually

Thought u were signalisposting for like half a second there tbh