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Convince him all pornography is actually Greco-Roman Wrestling

“He can’t talk good or anything, but people said the same thing about me. Please, just give him a shot.” Why did this make me emotional

I’m with Kelce on this one

“I’m sorry I cannot divulge other user’s sensitive information” “Please” “Okay. Routing number is…”

New Ocean’s 11 movie where the team hacks X Money and steals billions of dollars. The movie is 15 minutes long.

This song got on my regular playlist because of Kinds of Kindness

He has the money to pursue any hobby, travel, or personal interest and spends all day complaining about a movie on the internet. I complain about movies on the internet because I can’t afford to do anything else!

Kudos to the donut shop guy who saw something in me that needed an extra free donut in the bag

We are all Team Skeet

Detractors call my progress “foolish” yet the constant strain has given me perfect abs and cum gutters. The cost of shitting my pants is pennies on the dollar

Doesn’t the Ghost of Christmas Past establish Scrooge’s origin story? What else is there?

BOSTON

Has she even been seen in the last 2 years?

Stuart Little is all grown up and he’s a fucking NERD

You can pry my toilet water from my cold, dead hands