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I live in a city where the signature summer event is so hideous, everyone that can leave town does. Sadly that is not me.

Trump circle jerk underway.

Thank god julie has her own hair on tonight. #bb28

Really sick of the blue angels overrunning my neighborhood for five days every year. Just fuck off

I can’t help it. I love Yash. #bb28

The president’s brain is missing.

Reminder than Rand Paul is an insane eye doctor

No, we don’t thank this president.

Why do men

Old people say “oh” for the number zero and the reason is bc there was not a zero on manual typewriters and we had to use the “o” for the number zero. So we’re not wrong. It’s just a relic.

The thing about a pad of paper and a pen is there are no pop ups. It never wants to update. It doesn’t try to finish my sentence.