Профиль

Mayonnaise might be the most accurately rated thing

Mayonnaise might be the most accurately rated thing of all time

Smh I piled laundry on the bed for Later Me to deal with and now it’s later and I’m still Me

Orville Peck would crush a feature on Mister Jambo

Sorry I just remembered we spent the kind of money that could get us national high speed rail on five helicopters

The transmasc equivalent of egg should be House Of Parliament Because There’s a Guy in there

@begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social DEUS EX CAFFEINA COME ON

Getting asked my pronouns by a kid and being like WHY DON’T YOU EVER ASK MR BROWN HIS FUCKING PRONOUNS she/her I’m so sorry

“The profit motive” has got to be some kind of vengeful god Noah’s Flood type shit

Medicine and science kiss and cuddle at the golf club and then barely make eye contact anywhere else in case people think they’re gay

It’s not a real party until someone has too much and throws up. My 1 year old is very committed to taking over the role that I can no longer handle 🫡

@killjamesbond.bsky.social GIVE US THE THORN CUT

The Boiling Rock, interior Sokka, sliding open the cooler door: I can take you back to your cell if you’ve learned your lesson. Zuko: all the bolts are a half inch. You gave me a 3/8ths wrench.

Envious of the monks who dedicate themselves to a pursuit but like I think I just want a UBI

Every pride month my chronically ill body thanks me for being a board games and crafts gay

I haven’t done the maths but I feel like it’d be cheaper to let beneficiaries spend their benefit on whatever they want and deal with whatever consequences might come of that than to try to force them to only spend according to prescribed morals

Somewhere in this world there is a glow in the dark penny board with my initials melted into the underside that was stolen from outside the Unitarian church on ponsonby road at the Pride parade in 2017

Saying “meowth that’s right!” after every trochaic children’s book

I cut bread with a paring knife because I’m sick as fuck

If you write a verse for Bangladesh by Ian McConnell and you include something that is physically impossible, you sink in my esteem to that of those who think the eagles in Lord of the Rings are a plot hole.