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ha this grief ain’t shi- [synthy score begins to play, face contorts, eyes roll far back into head until all white, skin bulges and seeps fluid, body spontaneously combusts into flames]

should have known the mary oliver documentary screenings would get sold out quickly 😔

“ruined the character” oh what you mean character and story development?!

underrated technology I’d send back in time: -ibruprofen -mandarin oranges, bananas -a kiss on the forehead

public relations coup for diarrhea of the non explosive kind

would you still love crows and they’re cute if you knew they got slick middle parting hair when it rains

maxing this, maxing that, some of you could stand to min a little

okay but if you really think about it, from the trajectory of the bus turn and her distance from the street, there’s just no way that the puddle could have realistically splashed on carrie bradshaw

“heard everyone talking about the heat wave and high temperatures, kinda reminded me of the love we had tempered at yours haha, hope you’re staying cool and tell everyone I said hi”

forget sky train to ubc, let’s make skytrain to knight street dreams a reality

have you ever drank a coffee so powerful and delicious you began to laugh maniacally like some kind of supervillain

german word for wanting to peel your skin off with a spoon while watching love island

tired: poets just be saying anything 🙄 wired: poets just be saying anything 🥹

why am I closely watching the odyssey letterboxd reviews trickle in like a trader monitoring the dow

[dusty, bloodied, all standing in a moment of unity and solidarity] I am lime scoot boyz 😤

haha look this guy thinks he can eat his laksa without getting some on his white shirt

losing the contact aliens’ signal due to interference from my very loud ass timex

jeremy clarkson? you mean english anthony bourdain?

[concerned voice] but honey you’ve gone goblin mode every day this week already

I don't know who created Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, but I’m trying to figure out how we get them to have Johann Wolfgang von Goethe the polls