Faith—

A weird thing that was birthed from the recesses of my silly brain: Pepperoni meat sticks wrapped in melted cheddar cheese. I am fine.

In the wise words of my Instagram feed—

Telling someone to text you when they get home is peak emotional intimacy.

🎧✌🏻🤍 Thanks for this one. @bangerrr.bsky.social

You can’t make this shit up… but honestly, werk.

Staring at the ceiling until it becomes interesting. It did not.

HAPPY NATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY! 🤍🤍🤍

Why do beans give people the butt burps?

post your worst draft

Post your lock screen.

Post your lock screen.

I miss being carried to bed. Now I just drag my own silly bones to the mattress like some peasant.

Time needs to chill—what do you mean it’s almost 2027?! It was 2016 like five minutes ago.

Him: “What if I told you I got my hand on something?” Me: “Then I’d say God loves you, and your great-great-grandmother’s watching.”

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