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When you live near an ocean there’s a constant reminder of your insignificance. But if you live in the middle of the country I don’t even know how you’re supposed to stay humble. Am I supposed to be in awe at the acres of corn? I am a god compared to the corn.

Marie was right about her

This should be the WPBL's thing. You sing the anthem at the game as poorly as possible while still keeping it recognizable.

This is so funny because what is the payoff in making up Babe Ruth? Couldn't you just talk up the exploits of a different guy who did exist? Or did baseball not exist before you could film it? Does the average baseball player have object permanence?

I can think of few things in wrestling you could do worse than booking your company like its the NCAA. “That championship has been vacated it never existed” yes it did I saw it

When you floss often enough that there’s no blood…. That initiates a spiritual vision… in the clear spit you can see 1 million fractals of other versions of you that you could be

If I was wrestling Cody Rhodes I would not do anything that might lead anyone to believe I was the worse wrestler.

Herter Park MAYBE Boston’s best park?

An under-discussed thruline of Michael Moore's documentaries is that game show hosts suck. Bob Eubanks in Roger and Me, Dick Clark in Bowling For Columbine, Whatever He's Doing Now is almost certainly about Trump. It's an inherently reactionary occupation.

At no point in human history has it been a better time to be a fake Jelly Roll account that wants Google Play gift cards.

Lab Leak provides two important lines to its believers: 1) The Global Crisis Management Contest that the US got absolutely routed in doesn’t count against our record, because China cheated. 2) Don’t worry about climate change/habitat destruction as a pandemic source. Worry about our new Cold War.

You shouldn’t be allowed to Post Like This when you Talk Like That. The people demand you recite this in your fun little voice.

More evidence that TV brain has gotten us here, internet was framed

Here to hype everyone up this Thursday morning with a favorite YouTube video of mine: Santana’s “I’m Winning” incorrectly attributed and set to still pictures of people performing (mostly) athletic accomplishments

Steve Winwood I'm WinningYouTube video by jackinthemoonyoutu.be

I just fired 1500 home health aides in Massachusetts. Did they do anything wrong? No. Did I employee too many? Not even close. Do I have a plan? No chance. But before you judge me, keep in mind that I am a racist moron.

Ed Markey is not my ideal politician by a long shot, but I do appreciate that he sets himself apart from his fellow Senators by not displaying outright contempt for his constituents.

I think this one breaks down based on whether you’re trying to replace your job or get a side hustle. Because the hot dog is better for extra cash here and there but you absolutely cannot replace your job with that one.

You all coming to my party on Friday? Should be fun. Lebron James was invited so… you never know.

Had a really bad cup of coffee this morning

Sam Altman should be treated like Marilyn Manson was in the late 90s but if Marilyn Manson’s lyrics were just reading a list of actual American teenagers and telling them to do whatever they’re thinking about.