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Ok - that is brilliantly worded.

Paul Simon once famously sang "I am Iraq. I am an island" But Iraq has land borders with Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Syria, Iran and Turkey. Talking out of his arse.

I realised recently that I don't just know every word of every Fry & Laurie sketch, but also all the beats, inflections and pauses too. The way Hugh Laurie says "staggered" in this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-op...

Fry and Laurie - A serious talk with the school PrincipalYouTube video by Red Pandawww.youtube.com

My dad grew some chillies this year, and dried them into flakes. He knows I love hot food, and told me they have "a bit of a kick". I tried some yesterday, and have since been unable to blink in unison, for fuck's sake.

He's your Venus, he's your fire.

When I got married, I told my dad he could choose the song to go over the slideshow of wedding pics in the official video. I thought it would be something by the Beatles, Kinks or Hollies. He chose this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWl-...

Smoking Popes Need You Around VideoYouTube video by crashcarstarwww.youtube.com

I had a good run for over half a century, but I have noticed a few grey hairs sneaking in. Genuinely couldn’t give a fuck, because I seem to have inherited the Irish genes, and if I resemble anything like my grandad Jim (only two pics ever taken) I am more than happy with that.

Just remembering the time, on my honeymoon in the west of Ireland, when the taxi driver picked us up amidst lots of student protests on the streets, and I asked him if that made his job more difficult, and he said in the purest Cork accent "Sure I won't be wasting any brakes on them".

Just hearing that Franco Baresi has died. Such a wonderfully skilful defender. I always think of him, Beckenbauer and Hansen as the gold standard.

THIS JUST IN.

2 Dalmatians.

One good thing about insomnia is that you do see more than your fair share of beautiful sunrises. I mean, there’s also the intense loneliness and exhaustion, but mainly the sunrises thing.

Today’s photo memory.

Though it's decades late and still to be believed, it's about fuckin time they showed a bit of backbone. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Fifa World Cup: Uefa to boycott tournament if Gianni Infantino's investment plans go throughUefa's 55 member associations vote to boycott the World Cup if Fifa proceeds with its plan to sell stakes in its competitions.www.bbc.co.uk

I saw that story about the bloke nearly dying after being sucked out of an aeroplane through a broken window, and thought "how on earth could that possibly happen?"

Howe-away the lads etc etc. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Newcastle: Eddie Howe to leave as manager with immediate effectNewcastle manager Eddie Howe is set to leave the club with immediate effect, sources tell BBC Sport.www.bbc.co.uk

My old grandad abused alcohol for years. Mainly by saying “this wine is shit” in restaurants.

These online banking security questions are getting ridiculous now.

For all the criticism that’s been levelled at him, Christopher Nolan has taken a story spanning twenty years, and somehow condensed it down to a film that’s only nineteen years long.

Salt-n-Pepa have been arguing outside this door for about half an hour now.