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MATCHDAY. #Crew96

Pam is dragging me out to Westerville to buy a table. Do you have any idea how far away Westerville is? Because I did not. You people live in the middle of nowhere, Jesus Christ.

Never forget that our natural geographic rivals, the San Jose Earthquakes, didn’t think Max Arfsten was good enough to play for their academy team.

The average episode of ACES Radio has zero edits. I edited three entire minutes out of the show tonight. Bless.

The city of Upper Arlington copaganda outlets are not ready for the return of one of the worst students in the class of 2000.

In 50 years MLS announcers will still be finding reasons to say “Ricky Pooch” during broadcasts because it’s a funny name and saying it is cool and fun

If you don’t have plans for the #Crew96 game on Saturday, you do now.

Eight years ago today I pretended to be interested in Pam’s wedding while the Crew were playing.

Good morning to Crew Cat only.

ELOY ROOM MASTERCLASS 2K26

Imagine the goodwill the nerds and dorks in the Crew front office would have generated if they just took however many tens of thousands of dollars it took to have this piece of polyester shit manufactured slash deployed and simply donated it to #TIFOSWEAT instead.

Miazga has literally never told us where he was on 9/11.

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MY SON DOES NOT LIE, COLLEEN AND I ARE PROUD OF OUR SON

Jonathan Mensah just effortlessly transitioning from MLS Cup winning team captain to normal ass sideline photographer guy is fuckin’ PEAK COWTOWN

Soccer is alive and well in Cowtown. #Crew96

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BILLS MAFIA

I’m in the Nordecke. There’s a lady about to shoot balloons with her feet and behind her is a full ass rock n roll band. JESUS CHRIST THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE WORLD CUP

Columbus scoreboard operators till I die.

WE. WILL. TAKE. IT. FROM. HERE.

I’m shooting around and a kid just rode by on his bike and yelled “YOU’RE NOT LEBRON, BITCH” at me 🆗🆒