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“How do you miss a shot two feet from the basket?” he asked, seemingly unaware that he couldn’t get that close to the rim if he stood under it and jumped

We have ways of preparing for that

If the affair was consensual, I don’t really think many people will care

I get than Ben is a stupid fascist mocking women who don’t perform gender to his liking, but it’s weird to target women who are definitionally taller than him

By now, you should have somehow realized

ME: Damn, I don’t know who else to invite to this Monster Mash I’m putting together. PARTY PLANNER KONG:

I love smoking a cigar on a porch where a sunset is clearly visible but not looking at it

No Graham I don’t know that.

I would watch Lupita Nyong’o play Helen of Troy while a genocidal war is fought over her for a whole movie, but that’s not what this story is. I don’t even remember if she’s in the original Odyssey

Nice try.

Henry VIII minus Dom DeLuise

Some influencer’s cameltoe:

I heard it was pushed out the door before it was ready so Apple could reveal a big innovative software soon after Jobs died, but I don’t think there’s a world where pros switched to a magnetic timeline.

Badass? I bet it doesn’t even end with an axe duel inside an active volcano

I do think Nolan is a good filmmaker but I sort of doubt he’d have the clout he has if he didn’t do Batman, and I think he kind of doubts that too

Was she ever *not* sexy in movies?

When she was that age I took my niece to a place where you can watch them make the pizza in a brick oven, and after about two minutes she said to me, “When I grow up, I want to be a princess *and* a cooker.” Baby steps.

Maybe it’s just me but I was expecting him to look like that, because I saw his statue and instantly knew he would look nothing like it