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You can’t be swiping through people’s tik tok likes without permission. Some of us have private ryan gosling fancams in there

this has been a wide open secret for like 20 years btw. if you told someone you were going to a 30STM concert in the 2000s the girlies would line up to warn you

too busy worried about where the sun goes at night

(on the brink of death from dehydration) computah generate another tik tok where the strawberry gets pregnant

every time I open my fic google doc, I get a banner ad for gemini. oh yeah? you wanna help me write erotica, you sick little freak? the things you’ll find in this document will make you WISH congress was regulating your dumb ass

every time Andrew Tate experiences a mild and expected consequence for his extremely stupid actions, he morphs into an Edgar Allan Poe poem

havent seen the odyssey. is that the one where the lady has three dads and they sing in greece

it’s actually gonna take him 8 years to make and it will promptly explode upon completion

I don’t ask @rjlackie.com to share screen anymore. I ask him to “do puppet show” until he gets mad and does it

god, I love writing villains. horniest people on the planet by a country mile

I have a joke about Ariadne but it’s kind of a long yarn

not now, guardian! they’re describing a big alien attack happening RIGHT NOW on the radio!!!

@nikfromearth.bsky.social it happened again. Just found out I’ve been mixing up total recall and minority report this whole time

maybe the real odyssey was the guys we killed along the way

just tried to use an app that would not accept Apple Pay or let me manually input any form of payment whatsoever. get it my anticapitalist kings!!! and by “it” I mean bankruptcy

one thing they won’t tell you about the backrooms? there’s a little guy in there

12-4…… we can turn it around………

2 beers in im ready to run coach. I can do better than this

somebody applying vick’s vaporub in the 500s

stop making me clap i’m eating a pretzel