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I don't know, sometimes it's like no one even cares that there's a difference between 'less' and 'fewer' and that I know what it is

Anytime I see a completely restored vintage car driving around I think "Wow, that's so cool but I bet the person driving it is an obnoxious asshole." Well, one just cut around me at red light so I guess I'm right.

My daughter has been saying "Haha so funny!" lately and I just figured out she says it exactly like Ms. Rachel.

I met a girl named Khaleesi at the dollar store today. She was maybe 10-11. I don't know where that would put her birth in terms of the story but it was definitely before the last season.

It's flamenco dancing not flamingo dancing. That's not something I just figured out at 38. That's something I always knew. Trust me.

Realizing that I miss broadcast news when I get a tornado warning and there's no way to check what's going on

Reverse Cassandra, everyone believes him but he's never right

Sure this seems bad, but at least we'll get that new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie!

I love that major news orgs are now treating prediction markets as valid barometers of public opinion when in reality they're just polls taken exclusively from a sample of men who didn't understand Fight Club

Every day centrists are out there wringing their hands saying "but how will we win the cannibal cousin-fucker vote if our platform includes human rights?"

Embracing the panopticon because I like attention

Regardless of my giving him the matches, gasoline, and shouting "Burn baby! Burn!" I'm not really involved in the dispute between you and that pyromaniac. It's up to y'all to figure out when or if he'll stop setting fire to your house.

Our future Secretary of Education, Sally the sexbot www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

‘Really inappropriate’: teachers decry plan for humanoid robot in New York high schoolRobot from company that acquired sex doll maker to be introduced in school with large Native American populationwww.theguardian.com

Mickey is short for Michael, Minnie is short for Minerva, and Goofy is short for Gooffrey.

Wait! Bob Hoskins is British?! *looks it up* Wait! Bob Hoskins died!?!

Elon in a k-hole: "We will invent time travel and resurrect the dinosaurs and then the dinosaurs will fight each other but I'll be friends with them and they'll tell me I'm super cool and we'll all go to the moon together. And we will do it next week!" The entire Internet:

It's actually impressive how terrible this graphic is. It gets worse the more you look at it. Why are these countries numbered? Why was the first country not numbered? Why does the third column list the first five countries again? Why is the second column unlabeled when the other two are?

I don't watch trash tv. I watch 4 hour long retrospective video essays about The Bachelorette on YouTube, like an intellectual.

The closer I get to 40 the stronger the siren's call of Kohl's cash becomes