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every day i’m at work i think of this onion article

Pretty Cute Watching Boston Residents Play Daily Game Of ‘Big City’‘It’s Fun Watching Them Hustle And Bustle Around Like They Live In A Major Metropolis,’ Nation Saystheonion.com

MY WIFE BOUGHT ME A DIET COKE FRIDGE AND A KEYCHAIN THAT OPENS SODAS FOR ME SO I DONT RUIN MY NAILS FOR MY BIRTHDAY I LOVE MY WIFE

nvm i couldn’t resist getting my twitter birthday balloons. the only whimsy that hasn’t been ruined on twitter

also HOW do i have a cold on my birthday!!!! i guess it’s better than having covid on my birthday and going to the ER (2022) but omg again??

i turn 34 today which i guess means i have to stop saying i’m in my early 30s and start saying i’m in my mid 30s lmao

loot dropped after defeating me: absolutely nothing. you finally defeat me and you’re ready to claim your prize and it’s 2 dollars and half a handwritten gay fanfic

my kitty is having just. old cat related issues and it’s so sad. you know in your heart when you bring them home as a tiny little kitten that one day they’re going to grow old and you’ll have to care for them but you’re never really ready to see your pet be a senior

sick today so everyone is getting the worst version of me. i have sent so many professionally snarky emails

i was going to give props to the guy sitting there coding but he has claude open

i’m at the cafe and i’m watching a dude write a research paper and he has the fucking textbook out, his own keyboard, mouse, he’s plugged into an outlet, headphones on and he is just copying and pasting from chatgpt. buddy you could do that on your fucking phone