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A round of coffee mate on the house in remembrance of a fallen soldier.

It’s me, a real mayonnaise! I love receiving real messages from real people!

The best thing about trains is they sell tickets that cost a price. You don’t have to whisper an incantation to Expedia six times at midnight while bathed in the blood of a newborn goat to avoid the checked bag fee.

Today’s unique fuck up: Bought far too much kombucha for the refrigerator and then read the part of the bottle that says “will explode if left out of the refrigerator.” Goodbye leftovers. Goodbye twelve Asian sauces I use once every three months. Please don’t go skunky in the pantry, beer.

Things are gonna get WILD when we get to “halleucinogenic bread mold” outbreak.

Ergot - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

Mayo-news services would like to issue a formal apology to @costco.amaurot.social for the error in our reporting. It has come to our attention that the pizzas are $10.

Sorry to interrupt, but this is more important than everything being discussed on this site, and I’m offended none of you told me yet.

The Transformers: The Movie 40th Anniversary | In Theaters September 17YouTube video by TRANSFORMERSyoutu.be