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Just sayin'

So many lives were lost because of Donald Trump’s incompetence during Covid.... Republicans: But Fauci!

Idea: A shopping app that lets me know which makeup items I already have ten of at home.

There should be credits at the end of romance movies to tell you where to buy decor from "Bedroom Scene" or "Cozy Cabin Scene".

It just seems now that every fucking day this administration is like: "So what? What are you gonna do about it?"

Evangelicals preaching on planes because they have a "captive audience"

"What inspires you to get out of bed every morning?" Me: "My bladder mostly."

Me: *pokes sex life with a stick* "Yep. Still the same."

You ever get drunk, lose your phone, cry for twenty minutes, find it and then keep drinking? Yeah, me neither.

"than after pedophiles like Donald Trump. Fixed it for you.

For what it's worth, they weren't friends. Trump doesn't have friends. Just victims, stooges and accomplices.

Things That Will Never Happen in My House #23: "Allow brownies to cool for at least 15 minutes before serving."

Reading before bed instead of doom scrolling. Not only am I sleeping really well, but I also think I’m better than everyone.

BREAKING NEWS: Ted Cruz is still a fucking idiot.

What timeline are we on that TMZ of all “news outlets” has to have a candid moment and say “what our government is doing is not normal” holy fuck.

Mamdani is (actually) making America great again.

Pedophiles support pedophiles...

I check the shower/closets for murderers every night but I just realized I have no plan for what I'd do if one were actually there.

Me: "I feel pretty good about my looks today." Internet: Here are 10 of the skinniest, beautiful women you've ever seen.

Rand Paul's release of Fauci's diary is going to go down as one of the biggest own goals in history, because we now have the words Fauci chose to use to describe Trump that he couldn't say on TV.