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My son won't stop saying god damn it. He uses it correctly too. Me: We can't go outside right now. Him: God damn it. Husband: You don't need anything in that drawer. Him: God damn it. YouTube video: Let's go see if there are any monsters in the basement. Him: God damn it, it's a monster.

My 1 year old is yelling cracker at me. Idk, feels racist.

If you see this, we IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.

In line to check in for my gallbladder surgery, behind a guy with skinhead tattooed on the back of his head standing next to his partner in a Jesus shirt. Super cool.

My sister & BIL went to Nobu for his birthday last night & another patron anonymously paid for their $400+ bill. Lord, I've seen what you've done for others...

Bugs Bunny's Heartfelt PrayerALT: Bugs Bunny's Heartfelt Prayerstatic.klipy.com

@sykoscorch.bsky.social I was watching TikTok earlier & had to do a double take like is that Eliza?

Whoever stole my phone after the Touche Amore show on Saturday, your mom's a hoe.

Giuliani about to bite it?

Earthquake?

I made soft pretzels for the first time today. I forgot to spray the parchment paper. God damn it.

Gonna need to start a thread of things I never thought I'd have to say. The first one: Don't do that. Floss doesn't go around your penis.

He walkin'.

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My boys were giggling in their bedroom, so I went down the hall with my phone out thinking I was gonna get a cute video of them playing together. My oldest had taken off his poop diaper & was wrestling around half naked with his brother.

Fuck you daylight savings.

Love Is Blind's Bri... Look how fucking orange you look, girl.

I knew it. Feeling small earthquakes is my useless superpower.