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It’s Drunken Naked Housecleaning Day! 🎉 Participation is optional on the “drunk” and “naked” parts… but mandatory on the “clean my house” part. 🧹🍷🫣 Who’s in? 😂😂

Mini pigs - 9 days-old

It’s the hottest day of the week. 🥵 One of the baby mini pigs rolled in the mud, it dried instantly, and now I have a herd of tiny clay figurines. 🐽🪨

Have you seen my ass? I sweated it off this morning. Checked under the bed, behind the barn, even in the chicken coop… still missing. If found, please return—preferably lifted, toned, and maybe a size smaller. 🥵😂

When I die, I’m not “passing on,” I’ll be sticking around with one unfinished task: to haunt JD Vance. Every flickering light? Me. Every cold breeze? Me. Every time his mic cuts out during a speech? Definitely me, pulling the ghost plug. 👻💥 Buckle up, JD. Eternity just got personal.

My AC broke, so now the house dogs are swimming, the floor is a slip ’n slide, and I’m one degree away from moving into the fridge. At this point, the only thing cool in this house is the attitude of my cat. 😾💦 #FarmLife #HotterThanTheDevil’sArmpit

I ran out of donuts this morning and briefly saw my soul leave my body. Is life even worth living without sprinkles and glaze? Asking for a very emotionally compromised me. #EmotionalSupportDonuts #DonutDepression

Is it 12am or 12pm? My new neighbor put up a garage light brighter than a thousand suns. It shines in my house. When I wake up at night my bedroom looks like high noon in July. Pretty sure NASA can see my whole farm now. #BlindedByTheLight

Started with good intentions. Just wanted a clean floor. 47 dog toys, half a chewed shoe, hay in the vacuum, mud tracks from dirty dogs… and me? Sweating, vacuum smoking. So I did the only sane thing: Ripped out the carpet. Farmhouse with carpet- I must be nuts. #DogsAreWhyICantHaveNiceThings

Thank you President Macron! You ma be the first person to correct him in public.

Well, I guess I’m officially a pig parent now! Woke up to a fresh batch of mini piglets—tiny, squeaky, and already acting like they own the place.

Furry barnacles - I’m basically a 24/7 dog mattress.

What would you do if you had symptoms of heart disease and your doctor ignored them - dizzy “that’s part of aging”, shortness of breath “allergies”, chest pressure “digestive issue” - and then a new doctor runs tests and you have 99% blocked arteries. Report the doctor or forget that he’s a quack?