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"Hey, do you want to--"
"Sure!"
"Model for--"
"You've already sold me, buddy!" — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

For some reason in the original script I cited the early 2000s instead of the early 2010s as the era when simply acknowledging the medium or format (being meta) was enough to be counted as a joke all on its own. www.patreon.com/darlingsnarl

If I could have any cosmetic surgery I'd elongate my arms and legs.
Why? I dunno... I just like the idea of standing still by a treeline at dusk and strike a creepy silhouette for passers by.
WHY, WHAT WOULD YOUR COSMETIC SURGERY BE, AND WHY IS THAT SO GREAT?! — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

"This planet also seems to have an unusually high rate of emergency beacon breakdowns too. How curious..." — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

I’ve never had pumpkin pie but I imagine it’s pretty “eh.” — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Any similarities with the Finnish culture is purely coincidental, but they are 100% exactly like this. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Naturally you can wear a trench coat as normal clothing, but legally ya need a gumshoe license for that. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

The maintenance crew just need to adjust those POLEarities! — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

a little hero forge Fanart of Bex a character by @lekroox.bsky.social

The Maidropolitan Police Department. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

I sometimes catch myself losing time staring at those drone panning screensaver things on apple TV. That has the same effect as touching grass, I'm sure. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

I know you’re obsessing over every detail with the fervor of an Amazing Digital Circus fan but with the brainpower of someone over the age of 14 (no shade to the series) so I have to address that last time we saw Allison’s car it was a green Volkswagen Beetle. www.patreon.com/darlingsnarl

Once I broke my ankle stepping out of my very normal human bed. 
That's only a joke in the sense that my bone density is laughable. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

A symbiote can put the fedora on the detective, but not the detective into the fedora. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Once you go Nordic, you can’t do norm-dick! (That jokes require you to know about UFO lore, but if you take the time read up on it I promise you that it won’t be worth it) — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Callback! — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Order your Bipi-pet™ today, and make those judgemental glares you get at the park feel earned. You freak! — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

At least it's not microplastics. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |

Open wide and say Ah. Examination below!👇 🌶️

This isn’t a merch announcement. — | Patreon | Website | Email List |