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I just went to a Dunkin Donuts and they were out of ALL donuts. ALL OF THEM. At 10am!

I don’t think we call people buttholes enough

Two guys in the gym yesterday in Meta glasses and my disgust knows no bounds

Saw Hadestown in the theater and yep that was really spectacular

As a teen in the 90s/college girl in the early aughts, it has taken me a long time to come around to the comfort and style of a giant tee shirt, but I’ve finally embraced it just in time for the return of the baby tee (I won’t be joining, I wish you well my babies).

Sometimes I think about the fact that my first car, brand new in 2000, had a monthly payment of $278.79 for 5 years, an amount I (a teenager who lived with my parents) could reasonably pay while working minimum wage at Target while still affording to have fun with my friends.

If your bakery logo is AI slop I just assume all your baked goods came out of plastic clamshells from Sam’s Club

Picked up Stephen King’s 11/22/63 because I’ve only read one Stephen King book (Carrie) and that was like 25 years ago. This book is a brick let’s gooooo

I love the use of the word “token” in this context because it invokes Pete Hegseth playing skee ball with the armed forces

Car buying is such a dumb process but dammit if this Toyota salesguy hasn’t read our total disinterest in flimflammery and is making this easy.

Figured it out! Opening line is now “Drive fucking FASTER!”

Cannot figure out the opening to a book that I otherwise have fully planned and thus have not been able to write a word. I just need to find the entrance but it eludes me! I’m walking around the outside of this thing shouting “let me IN goddammit!”

Ok time to google “how long till football”

THANK GOD

The fact that a World Cup can come down to penalty kicks proves this is a raggedy ass sport. NHL has it right. Overtimes until someone scores or they all die.

Soccer is officially the whiniest professional sport. That’s why they have to hire these hot ass daddy officials.

Having never watched an entire soccer game I can confidently say Argentina’s performance today does not deserve a World Cup

My only solace in this being such a boring game is that Trump is absolutely crawling out of his skin that he can’t leave

I am “I know that song from TikToks I saw reposted on Reels” years old

I think the Muppets should do every halftime show forever