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A piece from my latest exhibit* that I am calling "Blissed Out Boi with Blep (2026)" 📸 *my exhibit is just pictures of pierro on my phone

Rod Stewart: 🎶 Oh, Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face 😫 🎶 Maggie May: my face that looks old in the fucken sun?

I am calling people doing Jimothy Halloween costumes right now the same way I (CORRECTLY) called queer people doing "Negroni Sbagliato with Prosecco in it" costumes back in 2022.

...to tell them how fucken AWESOME they are

ok goodnite

Me: I used to think He-Man and She-Ra were boning, but then I found out they're actually brother and sister. Anesthesiologist: Jesus Christ, how are you still awake?!

babe wake up they're arguing on instagram about whether or not kevin kline groomed phoebe cates because an '80s account posted about how they've been together for 41 years 🥰

Every day I log onto Bluesky hoping to see some funny li'l bits and cute pictures of animals, and every day within the span of ten minutes I am left wishing that I did not have eyeballs.

chewin' on dat fox 🦊

I'm gay so I'm allowed to say this: this is the gayest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

So much bitching about the various "historical inaccuracies" in The Odyssey, but I have not seen ONE post mention the scene where Tom Holland whips out his phone and starts playing Candy Crush?? It's right after Odysseus first gets home. Looks like an iPhone 8, which didn't come out til 2017??

Lotta great guesses in the replies and quote-posts but the correct answer is, of course, "Rachel Weisz smoking a cigarette after going down on Rachel McAdams in Disobedience."

gonna see if i can get a publisher interested in a coffee table book of these 📚

"Fleishman Is in Trouble." "Beau Is Afraid." "Margo's Got Money Troubles." All of these people need to get their shit together. It's honestly embarrassing.

Pierro has a little bump in between his butthole and his ween (SORRY, BUT THAT'S WHERE IT IS; WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?), so I have to put ointment on it twice a day. If he gets to lickin', I have no choice but to confine him to his soft cone. Needless to say, he does not love this.