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"What does Olive taste like?" "You'll have to ask Popeye."

"About 1,375 Olives are pressed to make 1 litre of Olive Oil, 8,435 Sunflower seeds to make a litre of Sunflower Oil . . . don't even get me started on Baby Oil."

"Why was the jacket smelly?" "Because it was a windbreaker."

Why can't you hear a Psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

"My Dog Kennel Business has hit hard times." "Think I'll have to call in the Retrievers."

Just deleted nearly 1500 photo's from my phone to see if I can now post a photo on-line. This is me with the can of Fosters around 1984.

Good morning from Seven Hills, NSW, Australia, where at 8 am on August 1, (Horses Birthday) it is a drizzly 7°C. Glad I got the lawns mowed yesterday. Take care, thinking of you all. Keep smiling, talk later. 😀

Me: "I can't decide what to have." Waiter: "What about the Duck?" Duck: "I'll have the lasagne."

"I recently went to dinner with the current world chess champion. It took him 40 mins to pass the salt."

"I made a pair of Binnoculars out of some old Fish Finger boxes." "I now get a Birds Eye view of everything."

"Do Vegetarian Cannibals only eat Swedes?"

"I got a new job, selling curtains." "It's o.k., but has its drawbacks."

"I had a Policeman stop me to say he was looking for a man with one eye." "I told him to use both and he would find him a lot quicker."

"I just found out that my AM Radio also works at nightime."

I thought my goldfish was epileptic, so I took it to the Vet. He said: "He looks calm enough to me." I said: "You haven't taken him out of the bowl yet."

Home made matchsticks for later on. 😀

Finished mowing lawns, now sitting in sun having a light beer and it's not yet midday. Sorry, I can't post pictures, something wrong, tried resetting phone. 😀

"Don't know it it's @bsky.app or at my end in Australia, but I haven't been able to post pictures, says 'check wi-fi connection' but all other sites are working. 😀

"When I was over the Club, there was a request for volunteer's to train as ventriloquists." "So I put my hand up."

"I used to work in a hand grenade factory." "It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop."