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The Onion: Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation. The actual Wilson on Bluesky: “No professional accomplishment has ever made me happier than this.” Most fun movie discourse since Barbenheimer. [theonion.com]

Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film AdaptationPHILADELPHIA—In a 4,500-word essay published in Harper’s Magazine, Emily Wilson, known for her popular translation of the Minions epic poem, blasted the latest film Thursday as a “sexless, bloodless” adaptation. “The first line of my translation is ‘Tell me about a kooky Minion,’ but the Minions in theonion.com

What are the most untouchable records in sports? Bill Russell’s 11 NBA championships? Cy Young’s 749 complete games? Donald Bradman’s 99.97 batting average in Test cricket? FloJo’s 100m record (10.49s)? [kottke.org]

A Telegram Arrived — And I Had to Choose Between My Head and My Heart. “On Boxing Day, I rang my father and told him my news. He was momentarily silent until his delayed shock was so great that he dropped his favourite coffee cup and I heard it smash.” [theguardian.com]

A moment that changed me: A telegram arrived – and I had to choose between my head and my heartShould I follow the man of my dreams to work in a club in Tehran? Or take up a place at an elite university? Thankfully, my dad gave me advice I’ve lived by ever sincewww.theguardian.com

“A new Airbus passenger jet completed an ultra-long test flight between Australia and France lasting more than 24 hours—paving the way for the world’s longest nonstop commercial flights starting up next year.” Wow. [arstechnica.com]

New airliner sets record flying 24 hrs nonstop from Australia to FranceTest flight shows viability of Qantas Airways’ Project Sunrise routes in 2027.arstechnica.com

Comedian Mo Welch has a new show on PBS called The Drawing Room, where she interviews people while she draws them (and her guests draw her). What a great idea for a show. Guests include Brett Goldstein and Tig Notaro. [kottke.org]

The Drawing Room With Mo WelchComedian Mo Welch has a new show on PBS called The Drawing Room, where she interviews people while she draws them (and her guests draw her). What a great idea for a show. The first three episodes are live already: Brekottke.org

The Beauty of Doing Nothing Together. “What you’re doing hardly matters. What matters is inviting someone into the ordinary parts of your life instead of waiting for an occasion that feels worthy of an invitation.” [theatlantic.com]

The Beauty of Doing Nothing TogetherThere’s something reassuring about being with people when nobody is trying especially hard.www.theatlantic.com

The hardened lava flows in this photo of a volcano look like dozens of doomed souls being sucked into hell or the damned escaping the underworld. [kottke.org]

The Hell MouthVolcanologist Laszlo Kestay took this photo of a lava skylight in 1996 while conducting field work at Kīlauea on Hawaiʻi. The hardened lava flows strongly resemble doomed souls being sucked into hell or the damned escapikottke.org

The legacy of the Luddite movement changes when you zoom out a bit. “The development of cooperatives around the world is another story that should not end too abruptly. We could still be weaving it today.” [flaminghydra.com]

Bodies upon the gearsAlternative approaches to The Man, considered by Nathan Schneiderflaminghydra.com

The trailer for Wicker (starring Olivia Colman, Alexander Skarsgård, Peter Dinklage, Elizabeth Debicki). “An outcast in a fishing village commissions a husband for herself made out of wicker.” Looks unhinged (complimentary). (via @skullsandsheets.bsky.social) [youtube.com]

WICKER | Official Trailer | Only In Theaters OctoberA hard man is good to find. Olivia Colman, Alexander Skarsgård, Elizabeth Debicki, and Peter Dinklage star in #WICKER. Written for the Screen and Directed by Alex Huston Fischer & Eleanor Wilson. Only in theaters October. An audacious comedic fable about sex, marriage, and the absurdities of sociwww.youtube.com

The coffee shop where 162 regulars have their own mug (1977). “The cups may not be such a small thing after all. They are a town register and a history and a confirmation that life goes on in a small American town.” [youtube.com]

The coffee shop where 162 regulars have their own mug (1977)In Arcola, Illinois, Charles Kuralt visits a local coffee shop where 162 regulars each have a mug with their name on it. Watch this 1977 report from the "CBS Evening News" archives.www.youtube.com

It’s Cool to Be Weird. "Before Prince was Prince, Prince was *weird*. Everybody loves to clap at the end — and most of the time we are clapping for the wrong reasons. We live in a culture that loves final products." [kottke.org]

Walmart is busy building out their fast EV charger network in the US…currently 73 locations in 17 states. Their eventual goal is install chargers at “thousands of its locations by 2030”. [evchargingstations.com]

State of Walmart EV Charging: July 2026 UpdateJune was another fruitful month for the Walmart EV charging network, which grows and expands geographically.evchargingstations.com

A terrarium iPhone case that houses actual growing plants and moss. [designboom.com]

this transparent phone case grows moss and plants insidethe terrarium phone case, developed by daniel idle, integrates a planted environment into the structure of a smartphone accessory.www.designboom.com

“Zugunruhe is a German term describing the restless, twitching urge migratory birds feel when caged — and the same primal restlessness humans feel when trapped.” [bigthink.com]

Zugunruhe: The restless sign that something needs to changeI sat at my desk and felt the cage close in. The Germans have a word for it — of course they do — and it's important to pay attention to it.bigthink.com

Some Interesting Apples, a lovely little documentary about cultivating feral apples. “Something that still blows my mind is that every apple seed produces a new variety. Every single one." [kottke.org]

Some Interesting ApplesSomething that still blows my mind is that every apple seed produces a new variety. Every single one. This is a lovely short documentary about a project called Some Interesting Apples, which aims to find apples growinkottke.org

Participants in a recently published study spoke 28% fewer words per day in 2019 than they did in 2005. (People are spending more time alone and more time digitally communicating.) [theatlantic.com]

Another Symptom of Growing IsolationA recent study found that people spoke fewer words a day in 2019 than in 2005.www.theatlantic.com

The Thomas Crown Affair? Directed by and starring Michael B. Jordan? Ok, I’m in. [youtube.com]

The Thomas Crown Affair | Official Teaser TrailerEvery step was part of a plan. The Thomas Crown Affair is only in theaters March 5. #ThomasCrownAffair Academy Award® winner Michael B. Jordan directs, produces, and stars in a visually breathtaking, sensual, and unexpectedly moving heist thriller, where the most dangerous man in the room is the onwww.youtube.com

Here’s where we’re at in 2026: because of federal funding cuts, scientists are turning to OnlyFans to fund their research. Scientists tracking marmot populations launched OnlyMarms on the adult platform, inspired by Margo’s Got Money Troubles. [kottke.org]

OnlyMarms: Funding Science Research on OnlyFansThis is an extremely 2026 story (derogatory): because of the Trump regime’s assualt on scientific funding, a group of scientists who has been studying marmot populations in Colorado since 1962 turned to OnlyFans to fund kottke.org

Study: Dinosaurs Were Charbroiled After Chicxulub Impact. “The impact would have produced an immense cloud of dust that superheated the upper atmosphere, charbroiling living organisms unable to take shelter and igniting widespread wildfires.” [arstechnica.com]

Study: Dinosaurs were charbroiled after Chicxulub impact“We're in the realm where we might be essentially killing off everything within that first hour or two."arstechnica.com

Why Do We Tolerate Elon Musk’s Racist Commentary? “Musk’s virulent racism and vicious, disturbing views are no secret. He does not hide them. They sit in plain view, easily accessible on the social media website he owns…” [nytimes.com]

Opinion | Why Do We Tolerate Elon Musk’s Racist Commentary?Why does the owner of X get a pass for what he says and does there?www.nytimes.com