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Профиль

Machine Pun Kelly

Профиль Vively

America's Number One Punned-It. Lifelong Dem. Left my account on Twitter for Bluer Skies. I follow back, but sometimes it takes time. YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@KellyScaletta Check out my Whiteboard videos and the Pun Show!

177,7 тыс. подписчиков71,8 тыс. подписок15,3 тыс. публикаций
Machine Pun Kelly

The only person in Texas who likes Ken Paxton is Ted Cruz, and Ted Cruz only likes Paxton becuase Paxton is the only reason Ted Cruz isn't the most despised man in Texas.

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Machine Pun Kelly

Let's play word association. I'll say 2 words, and you say the next 2 words that come to mind. "Release the _____"

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Machine Pun Kelly

If you kept POWs in these conditions, it would be a war crime. And they are treating children like this.

Snagz

Fuck ICE, and GEO Group (they run these warehouses that turned into death camps). This IS NOT potable water, by any stretch. Even if I had captives to interrogate (in the army) - no way I would give them that crap. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

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Machine Pun Kelly

Today in Yummy: Gizzards and Grain Stew! An MPK original recipe.

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Machine Pun Kelly

New movie coming out.

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Machine Pun Kelly

Let's just give him the Nobel Prize!

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Machine Pun Kelly

I'm getting good at this. Near-perfect loaves every time. Anyone want a slice?

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Machine Pun Kelly

I invented a new recipe! I call these "Everest Cookie Pies." They are butterscotch cookies with a butterscotch pudding filling, and then coated in a butterscotch candy coating. Butterscotch made from actual butter is an entirely different ballgame. Takes about an hour of work to make these.

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Machine Pun Kelly

I was going to go vegan, but my wife doesn't like it when I cut the cheese.

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Machine Pun Kelly

I turned 59 today. More fit than I've been in a long time. I'm pretty proud of me. Down 80 pounds from my fattest days five years ago.

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Machine Pun Kelly

How have we not started referring to him as Mitch McGONEll? Seems like a missed opportunity.

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Machine Pun Kelly

Chicken lasagna in a white sauce. Topped with fresh basil from the garden. My face hole loves me.

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