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Zoomers are just jealous they can't afford a Costco membership

Why do these perverts want my email so much?

Important context #WA03

#VoteBlueNoMatterWho

My doctor said it wasn't safe because of other drugs I was on, but i threw him in a garbage can and stole his prescription pad. I feel terrible. I think I'm having a heart attack.

You need to cover the floor in sandpaper so the baby is motivated to stop crawling and learn to walk

Can't have diarrhea if you can't poop

But if we can't all dream of someday having social media drive us insane by making us focus on our insecurities why would anyone want to work hard and be successful?

My dog is named Linda

I was there. He ate the billy goat tavern.

Sears tower doesn't want to be fed. He wants to hunt.

Recipe- let the loaf cool before slicing Me- fuck you

I wanna push you around - me to my toy car

I'll only wear it if there's also an 18 month baby version for my daughter so we can wear them together.

Lawyers should get harsher penalties because they should know better

They're dense

Not to defend Americans, but it's nice to know non Americans are dumbasses too

That doesn't make sense. Drunk driving is legal in Wisconsin.