Профиль

This potato and eggplant claypot is making me sooooo happy.

Well Bluesky, we had a lot of laughs tonight, but remember: there's nothing funny about putting a lien on a bird house.

Do you think Minions urinate as they walk, like rats?

Let's open a printing and office supply store that also sells coffee and baked goods called Copy & Pastry.

MOAR FROGUE

Never ending pasta but it's just one infinitely long fettuccine noodle.

Trash bag poncho ass kinda day.

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Lockheed Martin. We over promise and under deliver because we believe in American values.

Well Bluesky, we've had a lot of fun tonight, but remember: there's nothing funny about offering a European a Fruit by the Foot.

They'll probably be late for court then insist they can't find anything wrong.

Comcast store punished low sales by smashing pies in workers' faces, lawsuit claimsComcast, accused of negligence, says lawsuit mischaracterized alleged events.arstechnica.com

Not to be pedantic, but the preferred term is "transient anus."

They just keep popping up.

Twenty one people sounds like a challenge.

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Magnum, makers of fine ice cream and apparently condoms, too.

Well Bluesky, we've had a lot of laughs tonight, but remember: there's nothing funny about putting a shell to your ear and hearing an angry hermit crab.

Local art museum is searching for a new curator. The job listing says they're looking for a real Van Gogh getter.

Today's new friend: this juvenile gray tree frog (𝘋𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘱). Is it an Eastern or a Cope's gray tree frog? They're impossible to tell apart aside from their mating call, and all this one saw fit to do was urinate on me, upset that I clocked it in it's hiding spot. They make me so happy.

The percentage of accusations determined to be false is roughly the same as all other crime (2-8%) and we know this because false accusations are typically pretty easy to disprove. But that's also only proportional to documented cases. Factor in unreported cases and that percentage drops.

Top Chef host: "Alright Jim, what have you prepared for the judges today?" Me, hand wrapped in bloody gauze: "Uh, severed thumb stew."

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Sony. We're taking away physical media as punishment for tricking us into re-releasing Morbius.